My interview was postponed to Wednesday, because the creative director who was going to see me is busy dealing with another client till late dawn. That's gonna be my life after I start work, the horrors. Thanks to all good wishes from everyone, I'll take them with me another 2 days if that's okay with you.
I'm sick again.
I hate hate hate being sick. My whole body feels heavy, my muscles creaking, hot air spews out from my nostrils, my mind turns every minute or so, my throats screams for anesthetic, and I frequent the toilet every 30 minutes because of the massive amount of water and juice I'm consuming: it's hell. And I hate the irony of me currently trying hard to keep myself fit and healthy using moderation of diet and exercise but still being unable to maintain a stable and consistently boosted immune system. I used to be more healthy sitting at the computer and being nerdish.
I'm losing all sense of self motivation. I'm not going to kill myself yet though, so no worries. I just need a little pat in the back some times. I'm tired of reaching backwards myself.
I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. Not like those chunky pieces of meat, no, but rather those ordinary people who can live their lives without too many road blocks of heath. I want to be able to run a marathon, and when I say run, I mean all the way without stopping for a walk. I want to be able to eat without feeling guilty, but still maintain some sort of gastronomic discipline. I do not dream of being rich, I dream of being able to be productive. I want to be reciprocated. I want to cry, and when I turn to run away, find another person ready to embrace my tears. I want to celebrate not only my own victories, but any others', if they let me in. I want to be able to see results when I put effort in. I want to be me.
Where are you? Where am I?
Meh.
Edit: Sorry if this post is too haphazard. I needed this moment of reprieve.
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