The Two Ends

Without knowledge of war, there is no perception of peace.

Without fear, there is no need for courage.

Without knowing loss, you won't be able to appreciate what you haven't.

Without pain, you wouldn't know what hurts you.

Without loneliness, you'll never find comfort in company.

Without doubt, it is impossible to keep faith.

Without weakness, you might never find out your strengths.

Without friendship and family, you'll never find a reason to share.

Without you, whoever you are out there, there wouldn't be me.

If You're Not Ready

Don't start one, enough said.

Edit: Okay, maybe some context is needed here. I don't understand how some people get themselves into relationships when they're not ready for it, and get themselves deep into the phases without realizing so themselves. If you want to slut around, stay a slut. More than enough said.

Civil Wars Are Not Wars

Civil wars are not wars, they are the creative expression of the population trying to speak out in a stifled illusory democracy.


I was challenged to write an article about the situation our country is in at this moment of time, more specifically, with the upcoming Bersih 2.0 and everything else that led to or has some form of relation to it. For a moment, I was lost, and it wasn't an issue of not being politically and socially aware of issues that are brought up in our country. In fact, the more you read about everything from everyone's perspective, you will tend to become more lost. I used to think I was the only one, but there are many who share the same confusion, while others resort to settling blindly to a certain paradigm or go to the extremes and fight for an unclear cause.

So, where do I begin? I figured I'd start with the group which garnered a crazy amount of attention, the fabled Bersih movement. To be honest, I didn't keep myself updated with the news during the previous Bersih rally in November 2007. From news readings, I'll try to summarize history as best as I can write.

Bersih is a movement headed by several opposition members and non-governmental agencies (NGOs) with the goal of pushing for a more transparent democracy. Despite being headed by opposition leaders, they claim to be non-partisan, and strives for a purer, more Utopian democracy while examining every perspective that exists. Their main objectives are to push for a revamp of the electoral system, eradicate corruption, and stop gutter politics as well as focus on a meritocratic society regardless of political states.

From the surface, it sounds pretty good, really. So what's so confusing about the entire situation? The government has had plenty of strange projects lined up since the previous election (and probably still running despite heavy protests) such as the 100-storey tower, the 1Malaysia e-mail, the Cuti-Cuti Malaysia debacle and many more issues of which raised concerns have never been sufficiently dealt with. When the Bersih 2.0 rally was announced, I was disappointed by how both sides decided to play it out.

The Bersih team, despite having technical constitutional freedom to spread information, should not have done so in such a direct manner. The PERKASA leadership then retorted by 'threatening' all Chinese to stay in during the Bersih rally, with the total implication that either the Chinese are the ones responsible for everything that is happening or that the Bersih movement is only Malay incited, which it is not. In fact, the Bersih rally has nothing to do with race, but somehow race and religion becomes a instigated topic when it isn't, typical of Malaysian politics. Lastly, our head of governance did two things: alikened our democracy to a zero-sum game (which is a terrible insult to a country striving to exemplify democratic growth) and challenged the Bersih team to stop the rally and fight in the elections (which is totally redundant). No talks, no negotiations, no compromises.

Who should you support, and most importantly, where should the SOGI-aware community stand with this?

Bersih, in its purest form, is what it says it is: a movement pushing for a transparent democracy. I will not be able to prove whether there are any hidden agendas by all the leaders and/or supporters, and that is not even my intention for this article. Many NGOs have already pledges endorsement for this movement, some of interest including Amnesty International (Malaysia), Sisters in Islam (SIS), Educational, Welfare and Research  Foundation Malaysia, Persatuan Hak Asasi Malaysia (HAKAM), Women's Aid Organization, and many more. Even in the first rally in 2007, many of the people at the rally were ordinary citizens who believe in the cause; they are practicing their rights by peacefully showing everyone that they care much about their beloved country. That is democracy in its purest form, a democracy where even the minorities can speak out and be listened to.

After writing all these, I have changed my stance about the whole ordeal, but not necessarily my entire perspective. I firmly believe that the SOGI-aware community should stand out as its own, not in any way to push for the things we normally fight for, but to show that our country is full of different types of people who have been stifled for long, to show that we as Malaysian care about our country regardless of who we are or what we choose to be.

In December 1955, a woman did not give up her bus seat. In today's terms it was like a gay couple kissing in daylight in the bustling city of KL. Change doesn't happen just because you want it to. Change needs a Rosa Parks, a Martin Luther King. There are already people being arrested with a subjective claim of sedition. There are already people putting words into the mouths of everyone in the country. All citizens have an equal say in the decisions of a democratic country. A democracy is not just about having elections and choosing representatives, it is about speaking out, acting out and making sure that we are heard and considered. A democracy is not about the majority or the minority, it is about everybody. Stop letting others speak for you, speak for yourself.

Of National Dramas, Audiophiles and Tying Up Some Loose Ends

A long post full of reading material for all the horrid posts I had the past few days. Let's go!

Why do we read the newspaper these days? It's full of stupid political soap dramas of which both sides are intertwined into a big mess of which will roll over civilians regardless of innocence or actual attitude. Our PM has the decency to tell people about the illusion of a democracy, that it is a zero sum game, when a real democracy is not all about the winners, but the processes of change and communication between both sides. Despite my slightly favouring Bersih, they are also idiots by spreading information is such an unnecessary way. Why is Karl Max banned in this country? We might have the freedom to express, but even within such context there is much room of which we must practice considerable caution.

A civil war is needed. Civil wars are not wars, they are the creative expression of the people trying to speak out in a false democracy. There is such thing as a peaceful rally, the only reason to be scared of one is if you are guilty. Sedition is not as easy as it looks for the normal citizen (extremists put aside), so please give us more credit for our political and social awareness. Sigh.

On a separate note. Finally got my itchy hands ears relieved by getting relatively mid-range earphones (there goes my hearing). Suddenly, even YouTube videos sound so much more emotive. Visual stimulation might be a mistakenly labeled top tiered preference by gay men, but I think audio orgasmic delights take the prize hands down. For a more testable hypothesis: try watching porn with no sound vs. listen to porn with no video (but close your eyes).

Klipsch s3.

We are talking again, I'm glad much. Very much.

For a longer version of yesterday's impromptu clubbing session, nothing big happened. Made some nice friends, that's all. Putting all that aside, how many people actually meet their long term partners from clubs?

Probably getting a smartphone soon. My personal goal is to see how long I'll last before installing apps like Grindr and Scruff. Not that I'm shooting those apps down, nor am I saying that people using them are sluts, but yeah...

Time for the weekend to end. Tomorrow is Blue Shirt Day to commemorate Monday morning blues, a fun project suggested by a group of us at the office. A little whimsy goes a long way.

Love you guys so much, whoever you all are.

This is For Yesterday VII - ...

Dead tired. Do the math. Met new people but otherwise [insert blog tile].

Meh.

This is For Yesterday VI - PITCHY

Late by a lot. Meh.

Left work at 12.20am with the art director and intern still slaving out. I could have gone back earlier but tried to be helpful and entertaining, but still feel a little guilty for leaving them behind. I hope I don't have to go in to work tomorrow.

The colleague is 100% gay. Haha.

How's my weekend gonna be? Hmmm.

Do You Have A Protractor?

When you know that you're going in the right direction, the world suddenly seems to be a better place. My radio copy seems to be heading towards the right path, and so is the print. The designers, as usual, are killing themselves now when I am coming home slightly earlier compared to the last two nights (in fact, I could've went home earlier if I wanted to, but staying back gives the team some morale boost). I'll think of someway to keep their spirits up tomorrow.

Muscles getting better, but not fully recovered. The ones that are still aching are probably my weak ones. I finally understand what's wrong with my body though. My upper body doesn't match my lower body. Will have to work on that somehow. Haven't gained weight yet, so that's a good sign.

Don't know if the possibly-gay-colleague's gaydar is picking me up too. Again, it's not like I'm hiding, they're just not asking.

What should I do for the weekend? Anyone wanna meet up and jalan-jalan?

Of Radio Virgins and Late Nights For The Lark

I'm a radio advert virgin. I'll see how I get pass this stage.

Got back mega late again tonight. Yesterday's thoughts starting to swirl around again in my head. Maybe I should be another type of writer...

Chocolates are my only friends. Kind of.

NUUUUU.

Will do some exercise tomorrow morning.

Hope I survive this week.

Meh.

This is For Yesterday V - Long, Out, Strong, Meh

Late by about an hour. Left work at 11.45pm. Let's begin.

Today (yesterday) passed again in a blur, ending with an (obvious) late nighter. I'm begin to doubt my capacity for living with the long hours at work. It's taking a toll on my mind, my body and my life. We'll see... The only thing that is keeping me going is this article I found today:

Malcolm Gladwell at Cannes

Wound on left foot much better now. It was still bad when I walked to work, but at the end of the day, a thicker layer of skin had already formed.

Found out that a colleague at work who I find to be the most attractive is gay. He didn't really say it, but funny conversations during dinner with several other colleagues are leading me to believe that way. He's a top, and no, office scandals should be off limits. I'm not hiding myself though, they're just not asking me directly.

Thanks for being strong. It's helping me much. But I'd prefer if you were more direct, for I do not dare to ask.

Meh.

5 Reasons Why June 20, 2011 Sucks

5. Three friends quit their first job in 3 consecutive working days. At the condition I'm in, I really have to try hard not to follow in their footsteps.

4. Today passed so freaking fast, and I didn't even realize it. Brainstorming for a pitch is really hard, hard work.

3. I'm still aching from yesterday's session of capoeira, with a complete open wound on the bottom of my left foot. Wore slippers to work.

2. I'm living in my friend's ex-boyfriend's career shadow. At work, people always tell me that I remind them of him. They do not compare me with him directly, but I always feel like I have to live up to someone who have made such a lasting impression at my company. I also happen to sound like him and have several similarities. Wait, here it comes: he's actually from the same year in my high school from one of the lower classes.

1. I have a hole in my heart now, of which I don't want to fill with my work, or with anything else at this moment. What do I feel? Nothing. Nothing. Complete nothingness. The emptiness is scary, it really is. At times, my heart beats faster and I'm forced to take deep breaths to temporarily fill the void, to keep my heart from imploding.

It Is Human To Be Weak

An answered question led to more questions asked.

An uncertain future but with certain lessons learnt.

No matter how good I am in theory, can't control my primal self to an extent.

What you want changes, so you can never say you are 100% sure about what you want.

I have grey areas, sometimes I wished it was black and white.

It is human to be weak, but it is also human to be strong.

Status updated. You got me thinking much again.

Orang Macam Kita Dan Berbelanja Besar

Was at the Annexe Gallery for the art for grabs + kl alternative bookfest 2011. Hands was itchy, but did not give in to temptation and got the book Orang Macam Kita for several reasons i. I need to improve my Malay for my job, ii. It's an interesting take on alternative SOGI culture in Malaysia, and iii. I just had to scratch that itch a little. Haven't started reading yet but totally looking forward to it. (BTW, Orang Macam Kita translates into People Like Us. Do the math.)

I totally splurged on my dad this Father's Day, possibly more than all my father's day gift in the past combined. He isn't exactly the model dad, but I was also not exactly the model son (plus I'm not out to him yet). Hope he loves the gifts.

Today hasn't been a very satisfying day as a whole. The night is still young and I just want company.

Meh.

I Just Realized How To Say No To Chocolate

Store it at (Malaysian) room temperature so that when you bite into it, its melts in such a horrid way you wouldn't go pass the first bite.

Random.

Also, people in Bali make wooden penises in the form of key chains. Different sizes available. Seriously, they look like dildos...

Random.

If you mix red cabbage into your scrambled eggs, they turn blue like mold.

Random.

Pink Dot Singapore coming soon. Planning to make a Malaysian version called Pink Triangle (to pay tribute to PT Foundation).

Hmmm.

Edit: DAMMIT, I LIED. The Chocolate trick does not work.

When Ideals Start Destroying Your Life

I am an idealistic person to an extent; I have realistic parts too, but I strive hard to work towards that faith in a better, Utopian concept. Ideals are, in fact, very closely tied to our principles, our personal choices in life. I can safely say that I have grown up too fast: I have matured early on in life. I developed many of the principles I hold dear since early school days. Of course, they have changed much, but the essence of it is still there.

Chatted with Bestie over dinner and had some pretty deep and (hopefully) meaningful subject matter which included relationships, choices, and obviously, ideals. As usual, there is no conclusion to the discussion, only more questions left unanswered.

To sum up, because I shouldn't reveal too much detail now, it's really all in my hands now. It sounds a little authoritarian and selfish, but I know that the decision lies solely in my hand. Do I admit defeat or do I slide down that dark tunnel of uncertainty and risk getting hurt (although I keep denying that)? Hmmm. Where are my gay friends when I need them?

Bah.

Exploring My Shallow Bits (Why Don't Gay Men Get Fat)

At work today, my date gave me a link to an article that talked about The Real Reason Gay Men Don't Get Fat. Go ahead and read it, I'll give you some time.

For a majority of you readers, you'd probably be able to empathize easily with some of the points that was raised, for good reason too. I can bravely confess that I too have shallow parts that run dry. However, now that I am kind of in a relationship with my date (although not official yet), I have become more sensitive to such issues and the impact they have on my relationship paradigm. I'll pick up three points and spill as much as I can.

1. Physical musculature as a currency VS emotional attachment and fidelity

Yeap, I think I've blogged about fidelity before, but back then I never really tied it with its conflicting counterpart: a strong, lean physique. In fact, if you think about it more, the key word is appearance, not actual function. You can still be an awkward, non-dexterous muscleman but still be drooled all over and perceived as cute without much issue. The article talks about a gay man's physique as the currency of which relationships are bought/traded/sold/shared/donated/etc. over the course of his rainbow life. I find that hard to grasp, as we are objectifying our people the same way heterosexual men objectify women. Why are we doing this?

Maybe they are right, women are smarter doing for the money and security. No, money boys do not count; they just want the money, not the consistent stability.

2. Men are visual creatures (regardless of SOGI [sexual orientation and gender identity])

I shall not talk much about this but put forward one test. If your boyfriend/partner does not have the perfect body, try sleeping with him in the dark and tell me whether you are turned on easier.

Yes, you may stereotype me that way. Seriously, another point to women, who prefer tactile stimulation plus imagination over visual experiences. And yes, I'd prefer if you'd get your visual stimulation from non-real sources instead of risk yourself from being tempted into flings. Abstinence is still better, but I guess I have to appreciate the lesser evil.

3. You are attracted to yourself/You aim to get the type of body you are attracted to

For me, this statement struck out home the most. No, I find it hard to be in love with an exact replicate of myself, but it's more of the spirit of what it means. The key of understanding this point is the motivation, not the real result. You don't have to be actively pursuing the ideal body, you just need to be attracted to/stimulated by it enough. So, unless the person has really, really, REALLY high self-esteem and a well-built self-identity, there will still be a tiny corner of which all that physical aspiration is kept.

After going through those three points, I just realized that I broke all three rules. The rules still apply, but I guess there's more to a successful relationship than just physical attraction. And there's no harm in me whipping my date into shape. I've also come to appreciate the wonder of true fitness (kowtows to all the mega-fit uncles who have the stamina of a nuclear submarine), so now I want to be fit, flexible, dexterous and healthy. If I happen to get the physique in the journey (of which I certainly will if my expectations aren't that high), all of that's a bonus. As for what I expect from my relationships, hmmm.

Let me be shallow sometimes, okay? You do get me thinking; told you so.

Glacial in More Than One Way

Woke up feeling not too bad, but the thing with muscle aches is that as you go out through the day, it gets worse and worse. By lunch each step is a painful lunge. So much for being stronger than I expected.

Work was also slow moving; some people might enjoy the brief relief, but I find non-productivity to be severely depressing. Left work early obviously, and going out with dinner with date and friends.

Will update more soon, yes I'm leaving plenty of details out in more than one way too.

Bestie, I'm right behind you and your decision to quit. I'm proud you lasted so long.

The End of A Long Weekend

Rope-burns. Blisters. Aches. Soreness. Scratches. Bruises. Wounds. Tiredness.

4 days of purposeful calmness wasted on physical exhaustion of many types.

Not regretting it though. Every experience is unique in its own way, the only person who can say determine that the Bali trip is better is myself. So, to hell with it.

Meh.

Edit: OMG. Tomorrow I'll walk the walk of shame.

What Happens If you Spin Fast Enough?

I FREAKIN' TORE A SPINNAKER TODAY. (Click the link and learn a little, seriously.) (Yeah, still thinking of educating all of you despite this being one of my moody moments.)

Just that alone makes my day ratings go down to negative values. Tried downing the guilt with McD meal plus sundae, but such food rebellion doesn't do the spirit justice. I know Bestie is not blaming me totally; but I'm my biggest critic. Even now, I'm feeling like chomping down on more food.

Tomorrow better be awesome, somehow. Is awesome in the mind?

Feel like "Ching Chong Chong-ing" tomorrow. I'll see how it goes.

Meh.

Of Cupids, Rope-burns and The Unknown Hometown

Hell yeah, I play cupid well. Sometimes you just need to slap both parties hard. In the face. To show them how much they loved the other. It's these kind of moments that you actually appreciate your psychology degree. Ahhh, jolly melancholy of sentimentalism.

Practice runs today was not too bad. In fact, I think I was killed more by capoeira than sailing, despite getting 2 rope-burns. Tomorrow's race will be a bigger killer. In retrospect, what I imagined as a calm and relaxing extended weekend is now a physical endurance exercise, not that it is all bad. I even got to swim today.

There are now plans for my family and extended family to visit our "hometown" in China at the end of the year. Probably have to take unpaid leave again despite being near my confirmation period because my eldest cousin who just got married on the 1st of January this year is probably coming too, and she is not easy to get a hold of. I told my mum, by that moment in time (if I'm still at the company), I'd already know whether the company values me highly or not. If they want me enough, I shouldn't be worried. If they don't, I should just leave; both of us will be better off anyway.

BTW, you don't read this, but happy birthday mum! Gave her the same thing I gave my date. You think there will be some kind of spiritual link? Hoho.

-160.90

Easy come, easy go. And the day hasn't ended yet.

Went retail therapy today, after settling some banking. Managed to prevent myself from getting excessively expensive, but artfully stimulating pieces, which did not push my pieces-I-regretted-not-getting counter from its current position at 2. Just got basics, origami paper and vegetarian munchies for my mum's birthday tomorrow. Wanted to splurge on underwear but couldn't find the ones I love (Renoma X-Sport), because they're probably out of production already.

I'm starting to realise that the largest expense I spend on is actually food, not that I splurge on food per se, but the cost of food everywhere is skyrocketing to the moon. I should being food to work more, gambatte!

Not totally sore from yesterday's capoeira, but still aching much. In the next two days of sailing, I'll die.

Meeting my date later, hopefully (will watch A Single Man with him munching on some of said vegetarian munchies, yeah he's a non-strict vegetarian).

This is For Yesterday IV - Capoeira

Meh, late by 23 minutes. Let's begin.

Just came back from first capoeira session with a friend's friend and I'm aching all over. Will probably ache more tomorrow too. I'm just hoping I'll be able to revive by Saturday and Sunday's sailing. Really had plenty of fun, still have lots more to learn from the seasoned capoeiristas and taking my time to learn the basics more. Not sure whether I'll commit to it in the long run but I've got a definite cardio plan I can use at home. AXE!

Also realized how idiots are attracted to idiots. No offense really, but those people have the nicest hearts in their hidden cores.

Okay, to my daily dose of randomness. Remember the time I said peeing was pleasurable? It only applies if your bladder is filled and stretched enough. TMI?

Long weekend ahead and a highly possible overkilled body before it even started. Sigh.

Of A Sport, Maid Cafes and Something Else I'll Think Of While Writing This

I seriously don't know how much information I'm allowed to reveal about the jobs in my company, but I'll try to keep things discreet.

Client came in to see our storyboard for the 15 seconds, and they loved 2 of the 4, which is an awesome blessing already. Great marketing people; young, but definitely daring to use new ideas yet wise to consider aspects of the medium.

Got another job, scriptwriting a video for a project by a sports company. Very interesting client with the opportunity to work with the AM, a favourite AE, another old but experienced AE, the CD, and big boss himself. What's not to like?

After work, went to meet old school friends and ended up visiting a maid cafe in e@Curve, named Tenshi Cafe. In terms of maid cafe-ism, it totally beats the Little Pantry I suggested a few days ago in terms of atmosphere, but definitely not food. One of the maids was on to me, asking me to perform some cute-meal-charm-thingy which I totally turned down (but she was really nice about it even on the way out). My friends hypothesized that my cool and unwavering attitude kept her coming back. One suggested that she kept talking to me because she knew I wouldn't retort back as much as if she did it to my hornier straight friends (which sounds totally plausible). My theory is that girls like P L U more, and I firmly stand by that. BTW, I'm out to all of them. Crazy bunch, them.

And yes, I haven't thought of something yet. Hmmm.

Oh wait, I realized that I've been using the term coitusing a lot, the same way Penny did to Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory. It's not a proper word, but boy, does it roll of the tongue nicely. Another plus point that coitus means sex, which is funny when used in everyday speech.

Ahhh, strange things turn me on these days. Not sexually, mentally, but yea.

Did I mention that peeing sometimes gives you that great feeling of release. Okay, maybe TMI.

Man, am I random.

Filling Up The Weekend

Now working on my first 15 second TV Ad. Totally lost, but hope I learn much from it.

On a random but totally decipherable note, I enjoy a long foreplay before getting to the main course. Of course, must make sure the main course is still hot by then. On another random and totally literal note, sex is not only a physical activity, it is a mix of emotional, mental and physical interactions. I dare you to rebut that.

I missed today's 29 Ways introductory meet, sigh.

I have a long weekend this week; my company will be going on a trip to Bali and I was offered a place at the very last minute (just having to pay for the change of name on the air ticket), but U decided to have my own personal time and spend time with close ones. If I was career-minded I would've gone and tried to suck up to the upper-ups (not to say that I would've done that successfully anyway). This kind of choices should not be judged by my colleagues. They do that, but technically it is my choice.

What shall I do? What shall I do?

Swim? Definitely. Everything else, hmmm.

Meh.

This is For Yesterday III

Busy again, hehe.

74 minutes late.

Sorry guys!

Meh.

Of Nigella Lawson, Pinkness and Random Factors

Second surprise was today, and I thought I could get a full day's preparation by feigning illness, but opportunity sneaks away. I resorted to Lawson's rule of simple trifle assembly, with strawberries included (nonetheless). Shouldn't have left it in the fridge, but not much choice with Malaysia's weather.

If you are a fan of the colour pink because you subscribe to the strange gay stereotype of colour preference, or you just like the colour per se, visit a quaint cafe named Little Pantry in IOI Mall, Puchong. It doesn't play too excessively with the pink colour palette, but utilizes shades of green, grey, white and black to complement the primary colour. The food is, to slightly apprehensive confidence of food blogs, not too shabby with relatively acceptable price ranges (RM12ish to RM30ish or higher depending on meal) (The salad's sauce was really, really good.). It is almost in front of the Fitness First too if your eyes need food too...

After a relatively slow day, random weather patterns forced us to settle down at the Starbucks at the Telawi area of Bangsar, and shortly joined by another of Bestie's friend of which was definitely not in the equation of planning. Somehow, everything worked out in the end. Happy birthday again Bestie! Seriously, no more surprises tomorrow, really.

Before I forgot, I still owe you low fat strawberry cheesecake. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. And a piano piece.


On a random note, at what point do two people becomes boyfriends? Hmmm. xoxo

No holiday tomorrow, oh well. Back to the old drawing board.

Double Double-Whammy

This is a commercial break to confuse the readers:

Deux Arabesque, Debussy.

Bazinga!

I know I owe you a song, but I haven't finished learning this yet...

There Are Only Few Things That Piss Me Off

I thought I could cruise through the day without too much problem, but was face-palmed by 3 monsters.

Monster 1: Falling sick slowly. Not there yet, but I feel it creeping around my dry eyes and aching joints. Why must it always come at the start of the weekend? Is it a sign that I have been holding everything in?

Monster 2: Reached home at 7.45pm, but have to get to the office by 11.30ish for FA approval and proofreading. On a Friday nevertheless, and with Monster 1 still crawling over me.

Monster 3: Near the end of the day, with the awareness of Monster 1 and Monster 2, my senior designer raised his voice with me over a miscommunication issue. That I can take. He said I was inefficient. That I can take. Then he called me lazy. THAT I CANNOT TAKE. Yes, I might not stay for that many late nights or not produce the most impressive copy, BUT I WORK HARD AND I TRY HARD TO IMPROVE. The only reason I decided against speaking out was because i. you are more senior than me (although I'm not a fan of the seniority game), ii. you have a heart problem combined with lack of sleep and workload, and iii. if I want to make sure the team keeps running well, I'm willing to take the emotional blast, for now.

Pertubed much indeed. Yes, you might call me oversensitive or unprofessional, but I have principles. I make sure my AEs, ADs and CD get what they want from me, instead of downplaying the importance of the priorities they have set. Monster 3, I have my eyes on you.

For now, Monster 3 is still a situational trait to me, not a person. Kudos to you if you understood what this actually implies.

Edit: Oh, I almost forgot, status updated.

You Got Me Thinking/Situations of Perceptions of Situations

I am generally the deep thinker, not because I'm convoluted per se. I still enjoy a simple, raw and spontaneous mentality whenever I can. Although there might be situations or discussions that stir my insides or horrify my very existence, it takes a little more to push me towards a desire to innovate for the future. You made me dream of a bigger future, that change doesn't happen without lifting a finger, that people need to be made aware of our predicament. You made me retch without a warning, you made me think about relational ties that I have never given too much thought to, you made me afraid of losing the things I hold dear.

Yea, you got me thinking much. You know who you are. xoxo

Halfway through my day today at work, I started thinking about the fragility of our mental states, specifically how our situations affect our perceptions of our situations. It's just a matter of whether you let the chicken, or the egg, control your life. Sorry I can't come out with better examples, you'd probably be reading enough already. I don't have too many readers to please anyway.

Tomorrow, there'll be FA to approve, really hope I can get off early instead of playing the waiting game.

Fingers crossed.

Another thing, what's the answer to the question below?

Time flies pass fast when you:

1) Grow older

2) Do something you enjoy

3) Fill your time with productivity

4) Work

I hope it's all but number 4, not that it's a bad thing anyway. Love you all.

You Know How Much I Want To Write Something Good,

but I've got to go out to meet someone.

:)

WATCH THOSE VIDEOS I POSTED ON MY PREVIOUS POST. GRRR.