A Day to NZ

OMG, not prepared!

lonelyinaseaofmen will be taking a sabbatical for one week, the first actual pause of daily blogging work. Kudos!

Pray for my safety, thanks!

EDIT: ARGH PANIC I'LL BE THERE LONGER THAN I THOUGHT I WAS, WILL BE BACK ON THE 9TH...

2 Days to NZ

Today is emergency packing day. Yes, panicking now.

I am not the best traveler in the world. I tend to over-pack, I forget stuff, and I don't get too much excitement from the thought of travelling alone. I do love to travel, but I want to have more control over my environments and my company.

I wan to visit Prague, The Alps, The Guggenheim Bilbao, theaters in Paris, the Redwood forests; basically places full of natural beauty and/or art. I want to travel with close friends and a partner. Or just a partner will do, haha.

Panic!

So far I have 3 orders of live sheep, 1 kangaroo, 1 whale, 1 kiwi. Seriously weird requests.

PANIC!

What should I buy back from New Zealand?

3 Days to NZ

Countdown starts.

Will be in New Zealand for my sister's convocation. Still not in the excited mode, but I guess I will get there soon enough.

Recently got back to playing Pokemon Emerald on an emulator. Classics indeed.

Today, an Art Director left. Watching the video of messages that was made really made me think of whether I want to be in this industry for long. I still don't know.

The Refusal Of My Assorteds

Weird title, but let's begin.

I'm going to rant/ramble for the most parts here, it's my form of natural introspection and totally within the existence of this blog, so skip if you feel obliged.

My circle of gay friends is very small. It is probably the lack of trying, or the lack of self-initiated follow up on my part, but again, if I have to initiate all the time, there may be something wrong with the friends I already have. Let's list several hypothethicals.

1. I'm not close with them. Several reasons here, we don't share similar interests (other than guys perhaps, and yet again, not the same type of guys in general) and we don't speak the same language (stylistically I mean, and bodily too).
2. In the gay world, nobody wants to be friends (or at least of the seemingly normal variants). You have normal friends for that. Your gay friends are meant to live the lifestyle, speak the language, act the part (again, stereotypes, but we are dealing with hypothethicals).
3. I'm finding/meeting the wrong ones (bad luck on my part).
4. I'm actually not mega out-able yet. I'm beginning to see that even though I don't mind people finding out about my status, I'm not exactly happy about going out to parade that fact to the world either. So I tend to shy away.
5. Despite my theoretical background of relationships, I am a sucky introvert who prefers a few close relationships, of which I don't exactly have (of the gay type). All the ones I know probably already have invested a close relationship with another friend(s) and that is not there fault or mine. Again, timing issue.
6. Everyone is busy when I'm not and vice versa.
7. I talk like your mum sometimes.

I really don't know where I'm going with this.

I'm just going to be the silent, passive type. Hmmmph. Totally doubt it works, haha.

This is for Yesterday XII - Brazilian

Brazilian night yesterday.

Makes me really think of what I want in life. Hmmm.

Sincerity vs. Drama

These days, people tend to favor the riskier, less rational drama type, not as relationships, but friends to spice up their life with. I can see the logic in this, but somehow they keep complaining about the drama surrounding their life when they themselves surround their life with drama. Weird.

The case of sincerity isn't much stronger. They are always perceived to be more conservative and boring.

Stick with the right. By the way, please visit http://www.justiceharvard.org/, the first Hardvard course made public, accessible and free. The speaker, Michael Sandel, strikes his points right where it hurts. A must see.

So Fast Meh?

Thursday is here already.

Got 3 concept works this week and it's been quite the killer when you got to juggle your other jobs as well. Tomorrow is D-Day for one of them, hopefully it works out great.

Went out for dinner with old friends. Might be offered a copywriter opening at a bigger firm with a salary offer half times more than my current one. I doubt I'll be taking the offer, I don't have much experience yet in one place. It hell is tempting though, if I could get it.

This is the last weekend before my New Zealand trip. I am not exactly the most excited person, but I think I'll feel it when the time actually comes. What should I buy there? Wait, what should I do this weekend? Dilemma again.

Was talking to a friend the other day, and we discussed about life. We concluded:

No one cares about yourself more than yourself.

This is for Yesterday XI - Dozing Off

The thing about dozing off instead of intentionally going to sleep is that you lose your sense of time completely. When you wake up, you don't feel like you've slept mentally.

Facepalm.

It is also Thursday already, today will be a long legal-oriented day.

Between a Rock and A Crazy Place

Today, I forcefully dragged myself to work after 1 day of sick leave.

About halfway through the day, I was questioning whether I did the right thing. Staying at home would mean I get more rest and come the next day closer to perfection, yet I will get the biggest pile of backlogged work of which much requires conceptualizing. Going to work would mean that I clear most of the work up, but risk shoddy effort due to imperfect concentration and focus, as well as risk getting more ill and risk spreading my virus to others. Hmmm. Too late.

It also sucks that we're lacking copywriters now since one just became a planner. More juggling till the new one arrives (whenever that is...). Somehow, it is so much easier to contract FA Artists than copywriters and designers when people are on emergency leave or MC. Someone should revise the system.

Really, really hope I am much, much better tomorrow. I can't be productive like this.

Curaja!

Some Areas Are Off Limits

Hair shouldn't grow on nipples.

Enough said.

Hahahahahaha. Random.

Moments When You Dread Sleep

Yesterday night was freaking hellish. I went through so much pain that the entire day today I was completely numb, like being put on strong anesthesia. You really fear going to bed, because your body doesn't wake up automatically when you're thirsty or when your fever starts kicking back in. When you do wake up, you already have a cracked throat and raving temperature. Hopefully tonight will not be such a nightmare.

These few days have been hell. And yes, the next time sometime like this happens, I'm going straight to the doctor.

Also probably taking an MC tomorrow. I know the backlog of work will kill me when I get back, but I'm taking no risks. Speeding my way to full recovery. Thanks for the good wishes.

I Don't Know What's That In My Body...

... but its pissing me off.

On strong antibiotics now, which is good is one way, but I can feel it messing around my body, (hopefully) killing everything that's making me spew the plague like no tomorrow. It's at these moments that I feel really lonely. Lonely in a sea of men again (and this time when I say men, I mean humankind).

Why do strangers make the best of friends?

There are no repercussions, no room for judgment; just pure, simple goodwill. It's really strange, you somehow know that if you die, these people will be there at your funeral, crying bitterly.

The human experience is sure a strange realm. Makes me want to dive deeper and discover more.

You may say that it is just my perception. Even if it's true, I wanna believe it that way. Enjoy your weekend guys.

Of Angelina Jolie, Lawyers, and Surviving The Week Being Ill

Yesterday night, as I left work, I realised my upper lip was starting to swell to the size of, well, humongous bananas. It got worse by the time I slept to the point where Angelina Jolie's lips are puny in comparison. I popped an antihistamine when I woke up, in case it was an allergic reaction, and the swelling went down by lunch. Scared a few colleagues at work, but otherwise unharmed. I actually thought it was some strange STD or something, was a nervous Nellie.

Met the lawyer client and, with no surprises, spent an unnecessary amount of time understanding the required direction. Sometimes, I wonder why they don't just get to the point. Also watched our old and cute uncle Finance Director in a creative meeting for the first time, hilarious moments indeed.

Survived the entire week without getting well enough. Will sleep early tonight again. Unless someone pops up on my chat list. Kudos and enjoy the weekend.

As usual, today is Extra Credits release day. Not that any of you would care, but yeah.

Stuff I Do For A Living

Additional tasks I have outside my job scope:

1. Be part of the Dress Code Committee

2. Start a Make-Your-Art-Director-Gain-Weight-Program

3. Fabricate lesbian scandals between two colleagues

4. Keep finding out about more colleagues leaving

5. Wait for unsaid person to appear online

My life is whacked. The weekend is around the corner, hope to make the best of it. 

SLEEP EARLY.

This is for Yesterday X - So, This is the Taste of Regret

Yesterday was really, really surreal. I have never regretted anything in my life (or at least, not big enough for me to even remember consciously). Then it hits you with a whatchamacallit when you almost forgot the taste of it on your tongue. But, I shall not cower, I shall not take flight. I shall learn from what has happened, I am strong.

Now I know what I don't want even more. Elimination is good.

How To Stalk Someone

Step 1: Get smitten.
There is no step 2.

Down the winding road? Unsure, but we'll see what happens. I shall give myself the gift of restful slumber tonight.

Advertising Team Yellow

Fact: This is in fact, another syok sendiri post.

I got these from my Creative Director who got it from his friend; some of you in the industry probably already got it, but I thought I would share this with the general public because it is so funny!


A car full of [advertising] agency people got stopped during a roadblock.
Cop: Oi…Semua pakai kuning ar??
AE [Accounts Executive]: ermmm... nanti, saya tanya creative.
AD [Art Director]: it’s only 80% yellow 20% black.
CW [Copywriter]: I think it’s Mustard.
PM [Production Manager]: It’s one spot process yellow.
Planner: It's perceived yellow.
AE: ermm.... nanti, saya tanya client.
Cop: Semua bersih ar?
AE: Tak. Sudah 2 hari takda mandi... Kerja.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

P.S.: If you don't get the joke, I can't help you.

I Really, Really Need to Learn to Say No More

Friends back from overseas, thus there's plenty of makan/minum/party sessions which extends to the wee hours of the morning of which will negate my lark's body its much needed restful slumber. All that contributed to a day-long fight against the plague; by the time I'm wrote this, enough battles were won but the battle wasn't over. Suffering sucks badly, I really need to revisit my health paradigms.

Saying no has many consequences though. A few examples are not giving the designated individual enough 'face', and appearing like an introverted and intentional hermit to ostracize myself from others. Most importantly, I need to learn to say no to myself is many matters. It seems strange, not just the folly of self negation of luxuries and comforts, but the sheer reality that you can be blockaded by taking a step back without realizing so.

Meh. Hope I'm well enough to get to work tomorrow. Still feeling yellow all around. Hope you all are too.

Yellow

There is no better day to devote to a single colour. How can a government be so afraid of just one colour?

Very much apparently.

Hope all of you are safe and sound.

The Colour Yellow

This is for Yesterday IX - Weekender

3 friends are back from overseas, this weekend is going to be squashy. I really want to go support the Bersih 2.0 movement, but being unfamiliar with political rallies and the near-state-of-emergency level of restriction that we are having now is making any form of direct support dangerous, difficult and altogether more tempting. I'll play safe this weekend, but my heart pines for change so much.

The week really passed relatively fast this week. Perhaps it is an aging thing.

So many things to think about, so much to start doing, but time is a horrid factor. I need some control back. With arms flailing around in a storm, perhaps I will survive. Perhaps.

Me, Or At Least Partly

My 100th post typed from new toy. Still not entirely used to it, but enjoying every moment of it.

Edit: ARGH, still finding it hard to update my blog from a smartphone. The old fashion way is so much easier. Meh. This is going to be another defective post. Teaser:

Me, Or At Least Partly.

4.3 Inches

Playing with awesomeness, still not used to it though.

I'm gonna keep playing, so this will be short. Muahahahaha.

Will update soon about all this.

This is for Yesterday VIII - Finally Outed at Work

Late by 80 minutes, just came back from drinking session with colleagues to 'celebrate' my designer leaving.

A colleague finally asked the question during dinner. Now a portion of the office is aware, but apparently most of them already suspected it. Conversations are going to be more open and exciting in the future. Our office is very atypical, just one gay and one bisexual.

Need to sleep though, so good morning people! Days are going by so fast.

Whimsy Is Also..

speleeng wurds laik dey shoooden. Yoo shoood tri eet owt sumdey.

Quote of the day indeed.

Made banoffee pie for the office today by waking up early in the morning to fortunately be able to operate my oven. After a painstaking act of balancing the entire tray with my left hand while steering with my right, the cream portion slightly separated due to horrible shock absorbers on cheap cars. Everyone liked it though, so no loss.

I need to start being stringent (what with the impulse purchase two days ago and the family trip less than a month away). More reason for me to bring deliciously home-cooked meals to the office for both pleasure of eating and cooking.

Mai hundret poste ees cumming ap sune, eye shoood doo sumtheeng naise fore evereewan.

Lose the Ego

Drove my dad's CRV for the first time today, in preparation for the driving I'll be doing in New Zealand during the family trip the end of this month. The car doesn't feel as big as in is, but that may be because I wasn't driving in KL. I hate how my dad hates to ask for directions, the way stereotypical males with their big egos are. I might have principles, but they aren't as stifling as egos. Principles still have rooms for situationals or circumstances, the way the grey in morality works. However, egos are the ultimate barriers of growth and change.

Had a talk with a friend today. Apparently in the advertising world, it is a norm to "sleep your way to success". I don't need to try hard to disbelieve it, but the thought of it is provoking. Would I resort to such tactics? Is my own aptitude not sufficient? What if I was hired but found out after that I was hired because of any other reason than my aptitude, what should I do? What if something else was expected of me?

Hmmm. Tomorrow will be an awesome day!

I'm Allowed To Be Impulsive Sometimes, Ya Know?

Put down a hefty full payment for a pre-order luxury object. Can't wait. No regrets.

Also started discovering the hidden world of FLAC files, the audio equivalent of RAW images. It's hard to find FLACs of songs you like, but the results are extraordinary. It's no surprise that when compared to the size of an MP3 (~4MB), FLACs are about 10 times larger.

Almost lost 5 kg (and that's still good even though I'm definitely putting on some muscle at the same time). I don't exactly have a power exercise regime with work and all, but I try my best to get my some and control my diet. Trying is good enough, although doing is better. Still practicing capoeira whenever I can now that I have music from a dear friend.

Climbing closer to my 100th post, with readers coming now and then. This has been a personal place for my thoughts and feelings since the start, and it has not changed since. Thanks people.

Edit: I thought I was doing well, until I saw this: http://asianbmi.blogspot.com/. I wanna cry already. That's like another 9 kg to the middle of the bell curve. T.T

It's Friday Friday Got To Get Sleep On A Friday

On my left side, on my right side, which side should I pick?

Yea, I'm raving. However, sleep this early is not always a bad thing. It isn't even a necessity now, it's a luxury.

Yay. I'll see how early I wake tomorrow. Kudos.

This is for Yesterday VII - Middle-Man Businesses

45 minutes late.

I hate it. I love it.

Why is all my clothes shrinking. (I know it is shrinking and not me getting fatter/fitter.) Sucks to be me.

Meh. TGIF.