Recapping at 173

Today has been slow other than the last dramatic meeting at the end. No casualties though. My Art Director is still a little sick. Get better soon!

I have also recovered more now, but I don't know whether I have fully healed. I have been having more fruits and vegetables, and avoiding oily and spicy food. I am such a good boy. I'm praying hard for a totally refreshed me soon. That and me being able to continue my exercise regime properly.

Gonna cut my hair tomorrow, feel like going a little hardcore. After that, will go for a casual swim plus tanning session, so sun please don't fail me! Then a wonderful massage spa session in the evening followed by a comfortable dinner, both with a friend. After that, I have no clue what will I do. Hmmm.

Have I been completely honest in my writings in this blog? Yes. However, I have not told the total truth, and it will probably stay that way to preserve my sanity and your curiosity. You can always ask anyway.

173 is not a special number. Random.

Nocturnal Heat

Why is it freaking hot now at night?

And I forgot my phone charger in the office, grrr.

I shall treat myself to sleep tonight. Toodles.

This is for Yesterday XXII - Low Sleep Mode

Left work at 12.15am yesterday. Woke up at 7.00am for gym training session at 8.00am. Worked on borrowed time. At least I got off early.

Meh.

Gays Subscribe To The Obsolescent Culture

Or do you beg to differ?

The Story of Stuff, Part 5 (Consumption).

Those Two Things Flying Around Your Head

You know the Angel self and Devil self flying around your head trying to influence you to make a moral decision? I think I got a lot of that today. I got discharged in the morning, came back and decided to get into office for a half day. I did this for several reasons. First, if I didn't, I would suffer more tomorrow, and many others in the office will suffer along with me due to backlog. Secondly, I needed to feel productive after being tired of resting for 2 days. Thirdly, I can't say it to everyone, but hmmm... Everyone I knew went bonkers when I told them I went in for half day. I don't know whether this whole bout is a reflection of my stress level due to work and my body's natural response to that. For now, I can't make such deep analysis, so I'll just wait till the infection dies off first.

Hospitals are damn expensive; another reason why I want to keep fit. The superficial and deep parts are being compressed into one, so that's one less gray area to worry about.

Managed to meet Bestie and uni mate for din din. It was short but sweet. As she puts it, sick people can afford the calories.

Get better soon, or you'll have to change your blog to sickinaseaofmen. Not that kind of sick, but yeah.

Happy Monday blues!

This is for Yesterday XXI - More Visitors

The second day was not any more eventful, except for a few more visits. Thanks to A and J for coming to see me; the hugs are worth wonders. I thought it would be a little weird, but company of this sort is somehow transcendent, almost comforting. Thanks for coming, it is much, much appreciated.

As to the rest of my close friends, thanks so much! I feel so loved.

The antibiotics injected today hurt more than yesterday, probably because there are less bacteria in my body (I'm wishing).

Food is... hospital grade. You get the picture.

At least I get the entire room to myself.

Oh, and surprisingly, many people on Grindr were more than happy to wish me well. Maybe there's hope after all. Why was I using it? I was bored much. Resting can be tiring.

To be continued...

This Is For Two Days Ago I - Admission Into Hospital

I woke up to the worst feeling in the world: my throat swelling up again and hurting like balls. Or whatever. I knew I had to do something more serious this time, so I went to see an ENT specialist at a hospital.

There were not many choices to make, and after a long deliberation, I was admitted into the hospital for a 2 day IV drip plus antibiotics regime. So sudden, but probably mega necessary. This would also be the first time I will be admitted to a hospital, well, ever since I was born.

The IV drip is really irritating on my left hand, and despite feeling relatively lonely, I prefer that to companionship (or maybe I'm just being picky about who I want to be around at that moment). Being sick is personal.

To be continued...

This is for Yesterday XX - Power Cut

Yesterday I came back to a house without power. Life is so much harder without electricity, and I'm not just talking about the Internet.

Have I mentioned that I am afraid of the dark? It's not my biggest fear, but even at home I can imagine someone coming to kill me/ghosts/demons. My wild imagination indeed.

Trash TV

I learnt from my art director that trash TV is good for destressing because you don't need to think to watch it. Shows like The Fashion Police play during our office lunch periods, so you can listen to Joan Rivers biatch about the nastiest things in the world.

Trash is so not for me; my intelligence can just keep dropping levels.

BTW, the primary icon of philosophy for my company's rebranding is Lady Gaga. Boss said so himself.

Feeling generously positive today, although it wasn't mega-awesome. Tomorrow, will attend a press-conference and a recce before going into the office. Hopefully I do not stay too late in tomorrow. Peace out!

The Boss The Client

We are in the midst of rebranding our agency, and so there is an interesting agency-client relationship with the entire company and the boss himself. I am interested in seeing how the entire thing plays out, and what kind of a change we will be seeing in the long term. I am trying to be hopeful, but the realist in me is kicking in a lot.

The pitch has ended and things have slowed down a little, 2 ADs and a C vanishing for a while, whereas an AE's last day is today. Change is still a devilish constant.

I never got into the Crocs craze, and I saw this other shoe/slipper thingy that looks completely weird, but is starting to grow on me. Should I get one?

Vibram FiveFingers.

BTW, hating the new FaceBook, another bad change since the chat system.

Impact Marketing

Where do you stand between Philanthropy and The Market?

http://www.ted.com/talks/sasha_dichter.html

I shall sleep early to recuperate from yesterday! Sleep is luxury!

This is for Yesterday XIX - Dead

Ugh. Arrived home at 3.20am yesterday. Please kill me now.

Have You Spent Enough Time With Yourself?

Do note, spending time with yourself IS NOT spending time for yourself. The former takes on a strange and almost dissociative level, where you treat yourself as a companion instead of a first person persona. The latter is just putting yourself first. There's this strange sort of whimsy but you have no sense of loneliness.

Yesterday was so-so. Okay crowd, great conversation, horrid music.

Sleep was horrid as usual. But I made myself rest the entire afternoon, then took it up a notch at the gym (whilst still not pushing myself too hard since I'm not fully recovered). Met Bestie at night for some pre-work-week counseling session.

If there's one thing I wanna wish for for the coming week, it would be a completely restored body. The mind can come later, and the emotional side will have to wait an indefinite amount of time.

What Is The Gay Lifestyle?

I always find this term to be a little difficult to understand, a little derogatory because it makes us sound like we have some sort of an abnormal habit of some sort.

Yes there is the massively understood culture of clubbing of sorts, hanging out with gay people and other stereotypes which we are somehow strengthening, not for the lack of trying otherwise. What kind of a road are we paving.

And yes, I shall be putting myself up for display tonight despite being drugged and all. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the experience although it cramps on my sleep time. We'll see how things goes.

Happy weekend!

This is for Yesterday XVIII - Team Time

Time passed so fast yesterday and our team was the only one in the office. Hopefully today will be shorter. Enjoy the weekend!

This is for Yesterday XVII - What A Pitch

Meds are working miraculously, and so I dedicate myself to the company this Malaysia Day.

Have a great holiday, and if you're working, you aren't alone.

Sometimes It's A Matter Of Perspective

I am not a workaholic. I'm just complicated.

This is for Yesterday XVI - Strep Throat

It used to be the case that I couldn't blog in time because I was out late with friends or something similar. I hate it that my "This is for Yesterday" moments are starting to be illness related. On 4 drugs now, I hope I can get into work tomorrow, I feel a little guilt ridden for leaving my team with the pitch.

Half A Throat Down

Half a throat still infected. Sucks.

Just got back from work.

Better get some sleep, got personal training tomorrow morning. Not sure how will that go down with my throat.

Then going to visit a tertiary education institute tomorrow for research. I shall be a teen again!

Monday morning madness, more like.

Serendipitous

Today, found out a lot of strange things connected to each other. Okay, they are not strange per se, but it's just interesting how things are all connected to one another. Serendipity did a turn today.

I went to my old church for the first time in a very long time. It was a trying experience, and it's strange how the company of a mere stranger (now less a stranger) can make it a little more comforting. The past and the future collided, and I wasn't even sure what to make out of the crash or whatever happened. I'm still a faithful believer, so I have no qualms.

Did dinner with P friends and then coffee with Bestie to tie up the night before suiting up for the week ahead. Next week we are probably going to MP bersama-sama in as big a group as we can bring. It doesn't matter if nothing happens; we have each other. I'll probably feel festive enough to make Tiramisu then.

I need to start my piano classes again. The search for the optimal teacher begins!

Writing Your Epitaph And/Or Eulogy

Back in University, one of the practical exercises we had to go through was to write our own epitaph (words written on our own gravestone) and eulogy (speech given during funeral as a sign of remembrance). It was not meant to prepare us for death (although to some it is a wake-up call), but it was meant to let us reevaluate our goals and our position in the world we are living in. How would you be remembered? What would you leave behind?

Will you be leaving behind family members? Children? Your partner? No one?

Will you be remembered for your deeds? Your successes? Your achievements? What would those be? Money? Relationships? Knowledge?

Who would attend? Who would cry bitterly at the feet of your coffin? Who would mourn and grief? Who would continue on with their lives seeing you as just another checkpoint in their journey? Who would not even care?

How would your funeral be? Festive? Monotonous? Melancholic?

Who would speak your Eulogy? Would he/she be proud of you?

Is it a celebration? Is it otherwise?

Hmmm.

Am I scared of death? Not really. Am I scared of the pain of dying? Obviously.

Will I be satisfied if I die now? Nope!

How am I going to live this life of mine?

This Saturday is a rest day. Not my choice per se, but I better be fully well tomorrow then.

Here Again Or Another Deja Vu

Thank god I didn't get more sick. If there is one thing I can be constantly thankful for, it would be my health (or lack of lack thereof) (double negatives, haha).

Weekend is finally here, and it has to be savoured to its last morsel, because the next week is going to be a killer with a pitch + yang lain-lain. How shall I make it different from any other? I have no idea.

Rest is paramount, but experiencing is equally important.'

I need to write something nice soon. I feel a little uninspired.

This is for Yesterday XV - Sudden Sicko Again

Argh, super sien.

Salt water and fever control in check. Still have to go to work!

Aching Archer

I am aching all over and it is so uncomfortable to even play the piano. Sigh.

Started watching a animation series called Archer. It's about a dysfunctional spy in a dysfunctional agency: totally hilarious.

Archer.

Sometimes I feel used. Hmmm.

Morality compass still twirling like a hurricane.

Love you all.

Long, Long Day

Today was draggy.

Day started at 5.38am despite setting the alarm for 6.30am. What the hell do you want biological clock?

I went to the gym in the morning as promised despite sucky sleep and pushed myself moderately. Still felt achy afterwards anyway. I brought post-workout breakfast and ate it in the office, but I was hungry the entire day. I wasn't sure how much to allow myself to eat. Haih. Tomorrow will be my rest day.

And as I was eating my breakfast, I found this awesome recording of this pianist with synesthesia:

Ravel Piano concerto (2/3) Hélène Grimaud V.Jurowski Chamber Orchestra of Europe 

I teared for the first time in a long time. Finally, a musician with the gift to see colours from the music she plays (or any other music in this sense) shattered a small part of me and took me back to that moment where I could get lost in the music I listen to. Ahhh, what a great moment that was.

Met Bestie again after a long break and glad we did some catch up. Really glad.

Day will hopefully end slightly pass midnight. I really need sleep.

Freedom Force

Have you heard of the game? It's an old PC title that stayed true to its promise to make comic books come alive. A classic indeed.

Freedom Force.

Now that the distraction is over, the real reason I brought this up is because I just committed to a gym. Yeap. I'm going to be a fitness freak to an extent. Now I have to sleep well, eat well, and work well too. What did I get myself into?

Today's WIP didn't give me news I was expecting. Sigh. Keep believing!

What Have I Learnt From First Long Holiday Since Working

1. Plan it. Things don't just happen, or at least it usually won't be to your expectations.

2. Involve people who involve you. And if you don't have people who involve you naturally... well that kind of suck, but I know exactly how you are feeling. Please drop a message and the president of the Uninvolvables will be there to greet you. It's important to note that your experiences will be magnified instead of diminished greatly by people who you want to involve. If the Venn diagram intersect, yay you.

3. Make sure you have some part of your usual work day routine with you, because the change may be too drastic. I'm not saying do your work, I'm saying include possible productivity activities such as exercise, chores, blogging, and pretty much anything else that tickles your fancy.

4. Insert rest slots, because you'll need them.

5. Document it. You can take pictures, write a journal/diary/blog, or sculpt a clay model based on your week-long experience in an abstract manner. Hey, I don't discriminate against tortured artists' souls.

6. Remember to breath, remember to eat (appopriately), remember to drink water, remember your normal bodily functions. Daddy's an old man now, and he hates it when he is sick. Hate.

List ends. I can go on, but I'll spare you the pain.

My sister sent me an e-mail to a link of fashionable items including this I totally oooh-oooh-aaah-aaah over:

Gucci Cotton Rucksack Backpack, Navy

Priced at USD1290, it will continue to be in my dreams. I'll just settle for something hardier anyway.

I wonder if my sister is on to me...

Can't wait for work tomorrow! Yes, I still love my job. Not the hours, just the job.

Mixed Responses Of Sorts

Still sick, but recovering steadily. I hate being sick so much.

I got my set pair of spectacles today, thick wooden-plastic frames for an almost stereotypical gay or advertising man look, but the soft touches of colour and textural components gives it an edge. Yay me. Still not happy that my power went up 75 per eye.

The past week should be a holiday of sorts, but I'm not sure what I took back from the entire experience.

I need coffee now with a chat partner.

Hopefully tomorrow will be the miraculous finale to remember. Happy Saturday readers!

This is for Yesterday XIV - Sudden Sicko

I hate being sick. I'm better now, but still not totally recovered.

Thanks to those who 'accompanied' me during this period. It means so much to me.

Of Blogger's New Layout, More Retail Therapy, And Even More Old Men

The title makes it sound like I have much to say, but I think this will be short (although I don't know how sweet it will get).

Blogger just launch its new layout today and as a Google fan-boy I instantly clicked switch, regardless of its beta status. It is... a whole lot of white, somewhere to the level of most stereotypical mental wards. Will work that out later. I'll get used to it, change is something I should learn to live with.

Also did retail therapy with J today. Too bad I couldn't stay longer because of dinner plans, if not I'd probably be buying a little more. Somehow, with all the shopping I've done so far, I still think I have a horrid wardrobe. Next time will go shopping with my new shopping consultant, my 弟弟, and maybe drag my Bestie along. Hmmm.

Yes, I have a thing with old men, but somehow it just happens. My moral compass is screwing me up by spinning uncontrollable due to magnetic interference. I hate the position I'm in, in the grey with the extremes of both ends beyond reach. Yes? No? Maybe? I'm really hating it. My friends aren't helping me much, and it isn't their fault, for I have to decide in the end.

Why is exercise so painful? Why am I doing this?

A wise and horny old man gave me this advice: He will come. My patience is running dry, but I fear persecution less than the eternal transfiguration of my soul. God help me.

God help us.