Of Breakdowns, Breakups and Brimstones

I'm alive! (Somewhat.)

The past month has been a really rough ride for me to go through work-wise, but it is probably the much needed catalyst to sever the umbilical cord of which I (possibly) (definitely) maintain I never had. At this point I'd rather be dead (semi-literally) (semi-philosophically) (don't worry I'm not suicidal yet and I'm too afraid of taking my own life) then to trudge through this swampy grounds. I had a minor spat with my bosses (and in a company as small as mine, that's large enough a drama) which led me to expedite my leaving the company.

For now, the breakup with the company should happen at the end of January. I still have no clue what to do after that, and I need to at least try applying to various places by now. Tsk.

The continuous conflict between the part of me which is financially unmotivated versus the part of me who wants to at least remain competitive in today's screwed up political-economy is just frustrating, almost paralysing.

I am first and foremost a geek, so I have withdrawn back deeper into my introverted shell and revisited a childhood teenagehood game that is a complete metagame with no clear goals. I can't believe I walked away from it back then, the game is partial genius and continually evolving. There are things I don't like about it, but the community is strong and wonderful. If you do start playing, leave your IGN in the comments and I'll send you a big goodie bag. :)

Christmas is coming and I haven't finished shopping yet. If you see a desperate shopper, it's probably me.

Stay loving. <3

Congratulations Dami Im

Winner, X Factor Australia 2013

And I'm Telling You (I'm Not Going)

Blows away all competition across the globe.

Hope she wins!

Bridge Over Troubled Water

Bridge Over Troubled Water, SImon and Garfunkel

I can kinda understand where Redfoo is coming from, and I don't understand why the song didn't return to the dominant key at the end, making it feel unfinished.

I hope everyone is doing fine. I'm somehow still sick a lot, I hope I can get pass all this and work towards a stronger me.

Kudos!

XOXO

Best of You

I've got another confession my friend

I'm no fool

I'm getting tired of starting again

Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?

I swear I'll never give in

I refuse

Week 4, Katy Perry's Roar.

Week 5, The Foo Fighters, Best of You

Don't Leave Me This Way

From this week onwards, every Sunday is dedicated to my new addiction:

"Would be it possible if we could just have a separate show for Dami?" - Ronan Keating

Yes!

Edit: On a second note, I met two new guys over the weekend. I don't sense the compatibility but they are so into me. Why do I get so much into this sorta situation... :(

Dami Im

I. Am. In. Love. With. Her.

Political Social Attitude Test

Radicalism 69.25
Socialism 75
Tenderness 50

These scores indicate that you are a moderate progressive; this is the political profile one might associate with a university professor. It appears that you are skeptical towards religion, and have a pragmatic attitude towards humanity in general.

Your attitudes towards economics appear socialist, and combined with your social attitudes this creates the picture of someone who would generally be described as left-wing.

To round out the picture you appear to be, political preference aside, an egalitarian with several strong opinions.

Take the test for free here: Social Attitude Test

A Language of Their My Own

Now, where do I start?

From the beginning, oh right.

A Language of Their Own is a poetic play written by Chay Lee, a Singapore-born, US-based playwright about the story of 4 gay individuals and the relationships that develop between them and others, the insecurities they face and the realities of AIDS and of living in a humanely imperfect world where we are sometimes so flawed and ethics is arguable. The play explores very typical gay character stereotypes (of which I wished more normative or un-gay gay characters should be depicted), but it does remind us that these people exists, or at least parts of them do reside in each of us.

The winning point for the play is the language: the deeply crafted semantics which leave so much room for interpretation that covers a wide gamut of concepts and emotions. Even the sex scene depictions carry much more than just simplistic primal pleasure and orgasmic delight. The first part was unforgiving to the illiterate, bombarding the audience with words put into full gyration and fleeting between the past, present and future and also between dialogues and monologues at the speed of sound. The second is equally unforgiving with the relationships starting to unravel, ravel, and basically mutate like as radiation-stimulated cell.

It's almost genius mindfuckery. Almost. But I'd recommend this to anyone who is sufficiently proficient at English regardless of sexual orientation of gender identity. It's good to remind ourselves about our own state of humanity.

So what about me?

Over the years, I have (through many attempts of trying out a relationship) learnt more about myself and more about what I want and that's definitely a good thing. The one thing that I have not (and probably won't) grasped is the ethos of the humanity of relationships. What is good? What is bad? What is right? What is wrong? Who decides? Me? You? Us? You can say that each of us should just mind our own businesses, but even basic communication already involves trespassing into other people's sacred places.

The biggest flaw of mankind is our ability to judge. The biggest strength is out ability to love.

Let's just hope love is the trump suit.

XOXO

Suck It In And Remember

I have to work tomorrow, kinda. That and I have to travel to Putrajaya.

Not exactly the worst of scenarios, but considering how underpaid I am I should be complaining a little.

At least these moments are the ones that remind you what you really want to do in life.

Heh.

XOXO

Post Number 500

I've reached this far, thanks guys and girls.

I just want to say that I think that the first person who says I love you in the relationship is the bravest.

The weekend is almost upon us, let's hang in there!

XOXO

Turkey: Istanbul

Final cycle ended in Istanbul. Istanbul is a great place, but somehow my pictures doesn't reflect that as much as I wanted them to. However, enjoy!

Istanbul:

Turkey: Capaddocia-Göreme-Şirince

Part 2! Five words: Expensive Hot Air Balloon Ride. Oh, and I totally left out Şirince which is supposed to be in yesterday's cycle, but I'll just put them here anyway. Again, pictures are not in chronological order.

Capaddocia:

 

Forgive me, but I have sinned and taken a photo when I shouldn't have. But this is the only one, and I think Jesus won't mind.

You see the truck pulling the platform? That's where the pilot is supposed to land the balloon. And the van is our ride home. It's hilarious to see both of them chase us.

Göreme:

Badi and Badum, our cave hotel's resident cuties.

 Şirince:

Turkey: Ephesus-Pamukkale-Selçuk

I'm alive! And somehow I managed to get off my lazy arse and upload my Turkey family trip photos, it will come in three consecutive posts starting from this one. They aren't in chronological order, and some already had colour filters applied already for a different feel. However, I'll be lazy and let the pictures speak a gazillion words.

Edit: Added a few captions, and a missing last picture.

Ephesus:

Talk about cruisy...

Pamukalle:

I thought, why not do something different since I'm already here.

Selçuk:

Gözleme, which is Turkish Roti Canai and its equivalents.

They had a different animal for different days. So cute.

It's like I'm doing my pilgrimage of sorts...

Berrak brand tissues. (To the uninitiated, Berak is Malay for poop.)

168 GB of Porn

Whoa. >.<

What Has Been Happening With Me? Hmmm...

This.

I promise to update soon!

XOXO

Turkey Time!

Flight to Turkey in less than 5 hours!

I'll update loads when I get back.

Be safe!

Sometimes I Think I'm A Very Bad Son

My dad and I do not see a lot of things eye to eye, and sometimes my own stubbornness of sticking to what I believe in gets the better than me (and I can see where I have gotten this from). One of my pet peeves is when he comments on my health and my eating patterns. He constantly complaints that I eat too much and I am fat, and he is right to an extent (because at current point I am about 90kg with 22% body fat). However, he always make it sound like I don't care about my own health, that I am living my life vicariously through dangerous methods, and he always turn a blind eye to the fact that I do gym and try to lead an active lifestyle.

I know he just means well for me, but like I said, sometimes I fear I lose myself if I just give way. It's a difficult battle that has more implications on myself more than my dad himself, and I am well aware of possible implications, being from a psychology background and all.

As of now, I have decided to forgo dinner with my younger sister and my cousin from Singapore to avoid my dad, and I think it is for the best. Sigh, gotta lose all that weight anyway.

Current playlist is Ravel's longest piece, Daphnis et Chloé:

Gym And The Like

Yesterday I finally gymed for the first time in 12/13 days, and it wasn't that bad. However, I am starting to question the philosophy of the gym that I am currently at, and I might want to change to another one in the near future.

Meh.

Anyone wanna bring me in their better gyms?

Oh, and my elder sister is back from Australia for the moment and my younger sister will be back tomorrow. My cousin from Singapore will also be up tomorrow. This will be a long and arduous, but hopefully a miraculously safe and loving holiday.

Must Watch Movies I Have Yet To Watch

I'm not really a movie buff per se, but I do enjoy really good acting and scriptwriting. These is just a short list of films I must watch that I have (somehow) yet to:

1. Changeling

2. Fracture

3. Fight Club

4. Schindler's List

5. Pulp Fiction

6. Rain Main

7. The King's Speech

8. Now You See Me

9. Moneyball

10. Spirited Away

Yeah, I'm very outdated.

Sniffleupagus

I still haven't gotten over a week-long sickish period. Today my nose was leaking like the Niagara Falls.

I need to give myself more love.

True Wanderlust

'Gays love to travel. Period.'

Well, first up I disagree. I honestly believe that many gay people (and straight people too) do not understand the true meaning of travel, and they simply enjoy it as 1. a status symbol of freedom and independence to be able to see the world, 2. a purely hedonistic act of appreciating beauty of people and places, and also 3. an escape from the reality they are leaving behind, however briefly. They stay in good hotels, they never leave their comfort zones, they embrace only the positive and the aesthetically pleasing. These are valid reasons, but they aren't paramount to deeper forms of wanderlust. These are not enough.

When was the last time you were lost?

Travelling is not just about being at a completely new place physically, but also emotionally and mentally. It is about living as a nomad and seeing things through others' perspectives. It is about losing ourselves and immersing into a breathtaking new world without any qualms or any reservations. It is about the opportunity to be the unknown and be any person you want to be.

You learn lessons. You make mistakes too. You get scared and broken. You get surprised. When you truly travel, you come back a different person. You change.

You do not even need to travel far. How well do you know where you come from? I'm a Pee Jay bred boy and I still don't know it as well as I would like it.

For some of us, we only need to look up at the sky. For some of us, we only need to open a book.

Open up your minds.

Embrace the wanderlust.