Exploring My Shallow Bits (Why Don't Gay Men Get Fat)

At work today, my date gave me a link to an article that talked about The Real Reason Gay Men Don't Get Fat. Go ahead and read it, I'll give you some time.

For a majority of you readers, you'd probably be able to empathize easily with some of the points that was raised, for good reason too. I can bravely confess that I too have shallow parts that run dry. However, now that I am kind of in a relationship with my date (although not official yet), I have become more sensitive to such issues and the impact they have on my relationship paradigm. I'll pick up three points and spill as much as I can.

1. Physical musculature as a currency VS emotional attachment and fidelity

Yeap, I think I've blogged about fidelity before, but back then I never really tied it with its conflicting counterpart: a strong, lean physique. In fact, if you think about it more, the key word is appearance, not actual function. You can still be an awkward, non-dexterous muscleman but still be drooled all over and perceived as cute without much issue. The article talks about a gay man's physique as the currency of which relationships are bought/traded/sold/shared/donated/etc. over the course of his rainbow life. I find that hard to grasp, as we are objectifying our people the same way heterosexual men objectify women. Why are we doing this?

Maybe they are right, women are smarter doing for the money and security. No, money boys do not count; they just want the money, not the consistent stability.

2. Men are visual creatures (regardless of SOGI [sexual orientation and gender identity])

I shall not talk much about this but put forward one test. If your boyfriend/partner does not have the perfect body, try sleeping with him in the dark and tell me whether you are turned on easier.

Yes, you may stereotype me that way. Seriously, another point to women, who prefer tactile stimulation plus imagination over visual experiences. And yes, I'd prefer if you'd get your visual stimulation from non-real sources instead of risk yourself from being tempted into flings. Abstinence is still better, but I guess I have to appreciate the lesser evil.

3. You are attracted to yourself/You aim to get the type of body you are attracted to

For me, this statement struck out home the most. No, I find it hard to be in love with an exact replicate of myself, but it's more of the spirit of what it means. The key of understanding this point is the motivation, not the real result. You don't have to be actively pursuing the ideal body, you just need to be attracted to/stimulated by it enough. So, unless the person has really, really, REALLY high self-esteem and a well-built self-identity, there will still be a tiny corner of which all that physical aspiration is kept.

After going through those three points, I just realized that I broke all three rules. The rules still apply, but I guess there's more to a successful relationship than just physical attraction. And there's no harm in me whipping my date into shape. I've also come to appreciate the wonder of true fitness (kowtows to all the mega-fit uncles who have the stamina of a nuclear submarine), so now I want to be fit, flexible, dexterous and healthy. If I happen to get the physique in the journey (of which I certainly will if my expectations aren't that high), all of that's a bonus. As for what I expect from my relationships, hmmm.

Let me be shallow sometimes, okay? You do get me thinking; told you so.