The Refusal Of My Assorteds

Weird title, but let's begin.

I'm going to rant/ramble for the most parts here, it's my form of natural introspection and totally within the existence of this blog, so skip if you feel obliged.

My circle of gay friends is very small. It is probably the lack of trying, or the lack of self-initiated follow up on my part, but again, if I have to initiate all the time, there may be something wrong with the friends I already have. Let's list several hypothethicals.

1. I'm not close with them. Several reasons here, we don't share similar interests (other than guys perhaps, and yet again, not the same type of guys in general) and we don't speak the same language (stylistically I mean, and bodily too).
2. In the gay world, nobody wants to be friends (or at least of the seemingly normal variants). You have normal friends for that. Your gay friends are meant to live the lifestyle, speak the language, act the part (again, stereotypes, but we are dealing with hypothethicals).
3. I'm finding/meeting the wrong ones (bad luck on my part).
4. I'm actually not mega out-able yet. I'm beginning to see that even though I don't mind people finding out about my status, I'm not exactly happy about going out to parade that fact to the world either. So I tend to shy away.
5. Despite my theoretical background of relationships, I am a sucky introvert who prefers a few close relationships, of which I don't exactly have (of the gay type). All the ones I know probably already have invested a close relationship with another friend(s) and that is not there fault or mine. Again, timing issue.
6. Everyone is busy when I'm not and vice versa.
7. I talk like your mum sometimes.

I really don't know where I'm going with this.

I'm just going to be the silent, passive type. Hmmmph. Totally doubt it works, haha.