Accident Causer

This happened 2 days ago, but I kept forgetting about it.

I was driving back from swimming with a friend on the highway and suddenly the cars in front stopped so I braked urgently with some space still available. Then I heard a crash. I knew it wasn't my car, but close. Apparently the car behind mine braked in time, but the car behind that was tailing dangerously and crashed. Is it my fault? Definitely not. Still, drama worth mentioning.

Today was a slow Monday. Still can't wait for my first job review (whenever that is).

And I tell you, it's uncles that keep me motivated to exercise. Yes you heard me right: uncles, not hot guys our age (not being an age-ist, really).

Mega Meh.

Lessons in The Strangest Places

Some-unknown number of posts back I remembered saying that I didn't have to rely on social applications to try to find people, but I waved the white flag earlier losing more pride than bets in value.

Good people are hard to find in all, because as per the superficial realm of this side of the planet, physical critique is immediately defaulted. Many desperate people also linger, but ignorance can be bliss. There are some of a certain age that exudes sexiness and perceptual attraction but you can't clap unless the other hand is given out to you. But one specific individual, by virtue of a random occurrence, put me on the spot, placing my unique gray morality in check again.

What am I doing, and do I really believe in what I believe in? I'm not sure what to think now, but this sort of discomfort is almost necessary for a person who claims to self-reflect everyday. I walk the longer path now to a crossroad, and not making a decision might seem to become more practical and ideal. However, I know deeply that one must choose even if the road leads to hell unknowingly.

<3 everyone. Please love deeply.

Pondering a Couple of Bebenda

V is not equals to T + B. Please get your facts right.

Got blocked the first time today. That is their right and kudos to whatever choice of life they wish to live.

I think I'm more attracted to older guys. Although some still have the brain of a 8 year old, a majority are more mature, experienced and have no tolerance for unnecessary drama. How many years difference should the cap be? I'm not sure. No offense to the young and mature thinking ones, I was one of you.

Still got lots of stuff to give to people. I keep forgetting about my souvenirs for others after dragging back bucket-loads.

+1 today. Sucks to the max. I swam today after so long, enjoyed the familiar waters.

Lots of things on my mind and in my body. Will work them out sooner or later.

Yeah.

That's it for now.

Meh.

The Masses

It's difficult being too unique. You have fewer people who understand you, even fewer who can hold a conversation, and almost none who can think at the same wavelength. Sometimes, I want to be normal.

Met friends today, and somehow, I can't seem to connect with them the same way anymore. Not out to any of them, but still. Maybe I was just tired literally.

Meh.

The weekend is here, I'm gonna get sleep and take advantage of this deserving break. Sun, please don't disappoint me!

Going Stark, Bursting Out, And Horns

I have been a big fan of Jen Stark's work since I bumped into her while random surfing. I think her art speaks for itself, which is the type of communication that I find to be most paramount. Despite how surreal they may seem, they are 100% real. I'm using the below as my wallpaper at work:

Burst, Jen Stark

Visit her website for more colourfully frenetic designs: http://www.jenstark.com/

Have you gone into your cocoon yet? I think I have yet to do so. I have only done what snakes done, shedding old skin every year or so, making myself seem new but get old sooner or later. What I need is a metamorphosis, to burst out from a complete transformation ready to spread my wings and fly into possibility space. Sounds so jeng, but yeah.

Thorns erupting from all sides, attempts to strip them down are in vain. Hopefully this is only a phase, fear of new beginnings within treads of uncertainty and desperation.

Meh.

Changing Winds of Change

Despite all the hoo-haa of restructuring and all, I find out that I am not moving to the end of the world (sad corner of the office away from  my current team) and I'll be staying with my current art director for the most parts despite still taking on new jobs. Yay me. Also got upgraded to a better Mac with the Adobe suite in it. Sweet.

Really tired. What I need is sleep and a good massage.

Still need to sort out my NZ stuff, both pictures/videos and gifts. Still need to meet more people too.

Meh.

Back To Normality

What am I kidding myself. There is no normal.

I arrived back in Kuala Lumpur yesterday from the long NZ trip expecting to be slapped hard in the face by the humidity, but was pleasantly surprised that the cool morning air wasn't as cruel. However, my expectations were not subverted when exiting the terminal brought a massive heat wave causing me to sweat profusely. The worsening conditions of the haze doesn't do my efforts to defend my homeland's possibility of beauty any good.

Went on a date yesterday, and this time I did it at a neutral place. Nice guy, really, but not really much chemistry going on. He was also far to effeminate for my liking. Again, a preferential factor, can't help it.

Saw a cute guy at a coffee place in Auckland and I maintain that he looks like Bruce Lee:

I Heart Bruce Lee.

Will update more soon. Glad to be back much.