Dating Paradigms And The Bell Curve

Pondering: You know the saying which says that the best things are sometimes right under our eyes? That's a lie. They are always right under our eyes.

So, you met someone you're interested in? Now what?

Depending on the type of person you happen to be, you might start off with small coffee meets, dinner dates, outings, online chatting, basically, you're trying to establish a friendship (Of course you have the sex crazies version, but you must as well ask them about it since I'm not one.). Then what?

Stop asking people. The secret is out. There is no pattern.

Yes, if you calculate the behavior of the general public, you will (highly likely) get a bell curve, and you'd probably want to take the most average approach which is, technically, mathematically sound. The bell curve has one flaw: it argues for the past, not the future. It also doesn't take into account all the small variables that will determine whether the relationship will work out.

So, now what?

Play by your rules (hopefully, ethically).

I've subconsciously tried to do the math without myself realizing it, forming a barrier which prevents me from giving my all. Tomorrow I'll try diving deeper. And seriously, since when does diving deeper means sex? I play by my rules.

Meh.

The Problem With Leaving Things To Last Minute...

Fact: Today is my cheat day - no swimming and extra calories. I don't think they work for me.

... is that you'll get this sucky blog post. Cheers to a better tomorrow.

Meh.

I'll Trade 100 Friends For Those 100 Seconds

Wise Saying: You cannot choose your family, but your friends are the family you can choose.

There is a very simple way to tell whether you're close to a person, or if both of you click well together. You can talk about anything under the sun, or even sit together in silence, and time seems to be suspended for that brief history of time, yet, when you have to part, you notice that the sun has already did its full arc across the sky. You'd rather spend hours doing nothing with them instead of minutes of excitement with anyone else more famous, more influential, more charismatic. And you still would believe know that you have lived those moments well, significantly. You will be more than willing to trade your other 100 friends, or rather, acquaintances, for that 100 seconds of bliss. Those short 100 ticks which end faster than 10 seconds millennia of being with an enemy? Priceless.

To the one bestie who made yesterday all worth it, thanks!

Dear Birthday Boy

Hey, I haven't had a talk with you for so long, and now you're already 23 years young. It doesn't mean that much anymore to age, but you deserve an acknowledgment.

You already got over the biggest issue in your life this year, I'm so proud of you. I know how you felt during the moment of no return, but you have never regretted anything else in your life, right? Why bother starting now? You thought that it would get easier, and it did to an extent. You still have to put in the effort you require to make things work, and I know you will give it your all, the way you have always. Don't conform, give your all.

You have been true to the principles you hold dear. I apologize for not giving you enough confidence and I was almost certain that you would break down in the process of fleeting between your ideals and instincts. It's okay to be weak, that shows you  that you are human, of which fragility makes the significance even larger. You're normal, remember? The same way everyone else abnormally is.

You have been stagnant for too long. Please do not try, but do whatever it takes to achieve what you want. Remember the times we shared those moments of pure bliss, those moments of self-actualization? Remember that it was not a rosy road, but a thorny one? Be the person you want to be. You are the person you want to be. Start being.

Those people who have supported you? Cherish them, love them with each part of your heart, honor them with your precious seconds of your living and tell them that they are the memories of which you cannot find in any photo or diary entry. No matter how accurate and realistic the physical evidences are, the mental image you keep is permanent, and the influence you have in their lives goes beyond your own generation. Those people who do not seem to care? Love them too, but you don't spend too much time, your inner circle is waiting for you. Look behind and you'll understand.

I love you very much. I know you are still uncomfortable with yourself, but I'm right behind your every move. I'm right where you need me to be. I'm you.

Your conscience.

P.S.: Amen.

I Felt Selfish Today

Just came back from my convocation and feeling a little very much extremely drained. I am becoming more and more an introvert as I age; I can literally feel my energy being sapped by loud noises in crowded places with reduced movement area.

I felt selfish today.

Sometimes I really want to go back to the times in my childhood where your friends are literally the only friends you have, and vice versa. It makes the whole friendship paradigm so much easier. There's no multiple groups of friends that you have to juggle and your friends' multiple groups of friends that they have to juggle which reduces their pie of interaction with you (and the one thing I hate is when people try to introduce their friends to us in a sort of a forced assimilation).

Don't get me wrong, I still love all my friends. It's just that sometimes I feel like a tool, used when convenient, and forgotten when it doesn't seem to matter much anymore.

Maybe it's just me.

Meh.

Three Screws Loose

I seem to be all over the place today.

I started baking a white chocolate cake for tonight's pre-convocation dinner and when I was done with the batter, I noticed that my microwave oven doesn't seem to be heating up. I imagined myself serving liquefied cake for dinner. Luckily old lucky worked and I got a nice cake which ended up a little brownie-ish. It should still taste good so no worries.

Next, I went to KJ Pool for a swim and only when I reached there did I notice that I left my wallet at home. I contemplated going home and sleeping it off but the thought of the white chocolate cake and a (probably) sinful pre-convocation dinner tonight pushed me to return.

Thirdly, when I went inside and was about to jump in, I noticed that I left my goggles in the car. I quickly retrieved it and ended the trinity of dramatic annoying cues. The pool was so packed today, but the shower room was worse. Again, the math didn't add up.

Bah, I need an exercise kaki. Double bah, I need a job.

Meh.


Edit: My belly is almost gone!

Clueless

Fact: Sunblock is now more expensive than ever and is not available in the larger tubes.


My convocation is in 2 days, my birthday is in 3 days and I still have no clue on what's going to happen.


Meh.