The past month has been a really rough ride for me to go through work-wise, but it is probably the much needed catalyst to sever the umbilical cord of which I (possibly) (definitely) maintain I never had. At this point I'd rather be dead (semi-literally) (semi-philosophically) (don't worry I'm not suicidal yet and I'm too afraid of taking my own life) then to trudge through this swampy grounds. I had a minor spat with my bosses (and in a company as small as mine, that's large enough a drama) which led me to expedite my leaving the company.
For now, the breakup with the company should happen at the end of January. I still have no clue what to do after that, and I need to at least try applying to various places by now. Tsk.
The continuous conflict between the part of me which is financially unmotivated versus the part of me who wants to at least remain competitive in today's screwed up political-economy is just frustrating, almost paralysing.
I am first and foremost a geek, so I have withdrawn back deeper into my introverted shell and revisited a childhood teenagehood game that is a complete metagame with no clear goals. I can't believe I walked away from it back then, the game is partial genius and continually evolving. There are things I don't like about it, but the community is strong and wonderful. If you do start playing, leave your IGN in the comments and I'll send you a big goodie bag. :)
Christmas is coming and I haven't finished shopping yet. If you see a desperate shopper, it's probably me.
Stay loving. <3
